Individual Entry

People Who Still Have Blogs:

  • Me


August, 2018
July, 2018
December, 2017
September, 2017
August, 2017
May, 2017
March, 2017
December, 2016
November, 2016
August, 2016
July, 2016
April, 2016
January, 2016
December, 2015
November, 2015
October, 2015
June, 2015
May, 2015
April, 2015
February, 2015
January, 2015
December, 2014
September, 2014
August, 2014
July, 2014
June, 2014
May, 2014
April, 2014
March, 2014
February, 2014
January, 2014
December, 2013
November, 2013
October, 2013
September, 2013
August, 2013
July, 2013
June, 2013
May, 2013
November, 2012
October, 2012
September, 2012
August, 2012
July, 2012
June, 2012
March, 2012
February, 2012
January, 2012
December, 2011
November, 2011
September, 2011
August, 2011
July, 2011
June, 2011
May, 2011
April, 2011
March, 2011
February, 2011
January, 2011
December, 2010
November, 2010
October, 2010
September, 2010
August, 2010
June, 2010
May, 2010
March, 2010
February, 2010
January, 2010
November, 2009
October, 2009
September, 2009
August, 2009
July, 2009
June, 2009
May, 2009
April, 2009
March, 2009
February, 2009
January, 2009
December, 2008
November, 2008
October, 2008
September, 2008
August, 2008
July, 2008
June, 2008
May, 2008
April, 2008
March, 2008
February, 2008
January, 2008
December, 2007
November, 2007
October, 2007
September, 2007
August, 2007
July, 2007
June, 2007
May, 2007
April, 2007
March, 2007
February, 2007
January, 2007
November, 2006
October, 2006
September, 2006
August, 2006
July, 2006
June, 2006
May, 2006
April, 2006
March, 2006
February, 2006
January, 2006
November, 2005
October, 2005
September, 2005
August, 2005
July, 2005
June, 2005
March, 2005
January, 2005
December, 2004
November, 2004
August, 2004
July, 2004
June, 2004
May, 2004
April, 2004
March, 2004
February, 2004
January, 2004
December, 2003
November, 2003
October, 2003
September, 2003
August, 2003
July, 2003
May, 2003
April, 2003
March, 2003
February, 2003
January, 2003
December, 2002

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional
Valid CSS

Kyle in the Big City

Nearly 4 years ago, Kyle arrived in the big city of Chicago, jobless.

He had spent the last 2 months frantically job searching from Minnesota, but, had as yet, received no call backs.

Desperation sunk in, and you could smell it on the emails he sent out. One of them actually listing his main selling point as:

"I'm new to the job market, and am therefore ill-versed in local labor laws".

One of them finally got a response. One where I offered that I be hired at a lower than normal salary, so that I may give them a chance to observe my computer prowess, without undue financial risk.

On September 10th 1999, Kyle rode the Elevated Train into Chicago for the first time. He was wearing a white button down shirt, and the only tie he owned.

On the way down, he was mocked, openly, by two teenage girls. He agreed with them, as he was sure it was apparent to all who saw him, that he had no possible reason for being in downtown Chicago, and, for all he knew, he had stumbled upon to the two girls "turf".

Coming up from the subway, Kyle turned around, staring into the four long building lined streets, already lost. He began to wander. Searching for a street name that was on the map he so obviously navigating by.

After locating the building, and sitting as akwardly as one could in a lobby, he had his interview. The man interviewing him was a portly man, ex-army guy with a shaved head, who, he would later learn, loved Brazil.

When asked why he wanted to be a programmer, Kyle gushed forth the most ridiculous, idealistic answer. Something to the effect of:

"I'm facinated by the idea that it's actually difficult to make a computer obe$logical commands. The fact that it *is* so hard, really means that what a programmer must do is to systematically remove all his own misconceptions and illusions from his world, until finally what he and the computer see are the same".

Leave it to Kyle, to paint stringing "if" statements and "for" loops as the true path to self-actualization. A mere four years later, the same idealized programmer would probably answer, "To crush your program specs, watch deadlines pass before you, and to hear the laminitations of the marketing department".

The bald angry man asked the boy to come back in an hour or two, for a second interview. Kyle, pretended to have no problems with this, even though it ment he's have to take an unprepared journey into the heart of the city.

Wandering around, looking for food, Kyle decided to try out the local indy pizza shop Giordano's. Inside, he was able to purchase a personal deep dish pizza and a coke for 6 dollars.

The pizza resembled a large cereal bowl of cheese, with the bowl itself made completely of baked butter.

It was fantastic, Kyle vowed to have one of these every day he worked in Chicago, they were so good. His colon would later give him a stiff talking to.

There concludes the tale.

For all interested, Kyle got the job, became sick of chicago deepdish pizza after a week, and died of colorectal cancer at 43.

No comments yet:


Meta Information:

Title: Kyle in the Big City
Date posted: 22 May '03 - 15:40
Filed under: General
Word Count: 540 words
Good Karma: 119 (vote)
Bad Karma: 94 (vote)
Next entry:  Enough is Enough
Previous entry:  Poser v Poser