Fully Incorporated Citizens

So the Supreme Court recently ruled that the free speech provisions of the First Amendment apply to political ads purchased by corporations.

Personally, I don't think they went far enough. Free speech isn't the only clause of the First Amendment which has excluded corporations for so long, what about free exercise of religion?

According to my research 100% of corporations are functional atheists. Not a single one of them are circumcised, baptized, confirmed or otherwise indoctrinated into a single major religion. How else can you explain such a statistic other than the fact that there is a widespread movement to deny corporate participation in religion?

You may say it is because corporations are undying autonomous machines of perpetuating greed, who worship their stock price above all else. However, who are we to say that they aren't that way *because* they have been denied the chance to participate in religion?

After all, if the Supreme Court thinks that corporations have an innate yearning to express themselves, doesn't it stand to reason that they also desire to become better than they are, that they desperately wish for a way to overcome their own innate flaws and vices?

Also, if no corporations have accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, it follows that there are no corporations in heaven. Which means that heaven currently resembles one big long Marxist bread line. What is the point of heaven if everyone there is equal regardless of station, work ethic or amount of inherited wealth received?

So not only do we owe it to free the corporations from their godless and pointless existences, we owe it to Jesus, who is surely up in heaven right now fighting a harried counter-insurgency against the Marxist state heaven has become since we have failed to spread Christianity to a single one of the siege engines of capitalism.

So there are some strong legal and theological arguments to be had for doing this, but the strongest of all seems to be that of equality.

Free Speech for corporations is just a single step, until corporations can freely be accepted by all religions, have the right to marry, adopt children and serve in our armed forces, they are destined to be forever branded "second class" citizens, which in this day and age is simply unconscionable.