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Be Prepared (to whine)

I don't know what a normal person would do upon not being able to locate the can opener in the draw where it always is. But here's what I did.

  1. My initial assumption was that this was a direct act of malice upon me by my wife
  2. My second thought, was that perhaps she had placed it in the dishwasher, possibly out of malice, or for some equally crazy reason like "cleanliness"
  3. I then wondered aloud, to my dog, who was staring very attentively with an interested tilt to her head, "How does a can opener even get dirty?"
  4. I thought about opening the dishwasher to see if it was there. However, since I knew the dishwasher to be dirty, and taken into account with my reaction above, it stood to reason that, even if the can opener was in there, it was presumably dirty (if only, now, by association). And since I had no idea how a can opener was to become dirty, it followed that I would have no idea how to clean it. QED, regardless of it's contents, opening the dishwasher was a waste of time.
  5. Instead, I looked in the drawer under where it should be, in case it somehow got pushed up and over the back lip of the drawer into the dark cabinet abyss that is the drawer beneath it.
  6. I then looked in the drawer where it should be, twice more.
  7. Finally, I opened my Leatherman, and eyed the strange black streak across the "can opener" bit.
  8. However, due to conclusion #3, it was fruitless to speculate on it's cleanliness, thus I opened the can "old skool".

At this point, I have forgiven my wife for her cruel prank upon me, as opening a can with a Leatherman is undeniably satisfying.

It is also easily the most manly thing I have done in months.

It is, In fact, *so* manly, that it makes my previous #1 of "Feeding a pony an apple", seem downright feminine.


3 comments:

Assume the can opener.
by: Peter (contact) - 21 Feb '07 - 14:27
Ponies are totally awesome!
by: Meg (contact) - 21 Feb '07 - 20:51
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by: xiaoke (contact) - 14 Jun '18 - 20:28



 




Meta Information:

Title: Be Prepared (to whine)
Date posted: 21 Feb '07 - 12:30
Filed under: General
Word Count: 330 words
Good Karma: 76 (vote)
Bad Karma: 106 (vote)
Next entry:  stuck
Previous entry:  The Improbable Dream

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