Individual Entry

People Who Still Have Blogs:

  • Me

Archives

December, 2017
September, 2017
August, 2017
May, 2017
March, 2017
December, 2016
November, 2016
August, 2016
July, 2016
April, 2016
January, 2016
December, 2015
November, 2015
October, 2015
June, 2015
May, 2015
April, 2015
February, 2015
January, 2015
December, 2014
September, 2014
August, 2014
July, 2014
June, 2014
May, 2014
April, 2014
March, 2014
February, 2014
January, 2014
December, 2013
November, 2013
October, 2013
September, 2013
August, 2013
July, 2013
June, 2013
May, 2013
November, 2012
October, 2012
September, 2012
August, 2012
July, 2012
June, 2012
March, 2012
February, 2012
January, 2012
December, 2011
November, 2011
September, 2011
August, 2011
July, 2011
June, 2011
May, 2011
April, 2011
March, 2011
February, 2011
January, 2011
December, 2010
November, 2010
October, 2010
September, 2010
August, 2010
June, 2010
May, 2010
March, 2010
February, 2010
January, 2010
November, 2009
October, 2009
September, 2009
August, 2009
July, 2009
June, 2009
May, 2009
April, 2009
March, 2009
February, 2009
January, 2009
December, 2008
November, 2008
October, 2008
September, 2008
August, 2008
July, 2008
June, 2008
May, 2008
April, 2008
March, 2008
February, 2008
January, 2008
December, 2007
November, 2007
October, 2007
September, 2007
August, 2007
July, 2007
June, 2007
May, 2007
April, 2007
March, 2007
February, 2007
January, 2007
November, 2006
October, 2006
September, 2006
August, 2006
July, 2006
June, 2006
May, 2006
April, 2006
March, 2006
February, 2006
January, 2006
November, 2005
October, 2005
September, 2005
August, 2005
July, 2005
June, 2005
March, 2005
January, 2005
December, 2004
November, 2004
August, 2004
July, 2004
June, 2004
May, 2004
April, 2004
March, 2004
February, 2004
January, 2004
December, 2003
November, 2003
October, 2003
September, 2003
August, 2003
July, 2003
May, 2003
April, 2003
March, 2003
February, 2003
January, 2003
December, 2002

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional
Valid CSS

Revenge of the (Possibly) Dirty Movie

So, there I was, in my furnace room, poking around for the valve to turn on the spigot on the north side of the house, when all of a sudden, I see something up in the rafters.

Now I'm a short lad, so I go and retrieve our trusty Ikea stepstool, and get on up there to take a look.

Pictured above is what I found. A Fuji VCR tape. With only two markings on it. A 'P' written in green Sharpie® on the outer jacket, and a sticker 'P' on the edge of the tape itself.

Delighted with my find, I brang it up to my wife, wagging my non-existant dog tail in pride.

She looks unimpressed, and after I explained where I found it, she said "So it's probably porn then?".

This was hardly the welcome I had expected. Especially given that the occupant before us was an unmarried woman, it seems that I had unearthed treasure that, from the date of manufacture, might have gone undiscovered for 3-4 years!

Clearly my wife didn't appreciate the infinite wonder of which wild speculation on what might be contained on the tape might generate.

But then, after a bit of thinking, it came to me, that no matter what was on the tape, it couldn't be good. Different shades of variously terrible content was really the only result possible.

The best I could come up with, is that perhaps the ghost of someone good and nice who died under extremely amiable circumstances had decided that he or she should give something back to the mortals of the world, and left behind a tape, bestowed with the magical power to grant a boon to any who watch it.

That, or video treasure map.

Amongst the brainstorming of the least terrible and likely option I could come up with was "pirated copy of Flashdance". Indeed, that wouldn't be too bad. I could then just tape over that!

And, of the most likely options, they mostly involved, as my wife had predicted, varying degrees of filthy movies. At one point I wondered if it might not be the sort of "really bad" dirty movie that people got sent to jail for and got put on lists for the rest of their lives. I even considered just burning the tape outright right there, to avoid any such situation.

But, for the time being, to enhance the drama and to artificially extend this subject matter to two posts, I have refrained from the viewing the said tape, so that you too may delight in guessing what form the series of coherent images on it might form.

And, if anyone would like to place bets, "Gay Porn" is currently paying 2:1.

3 comments:

I think you have made a dangerous assumption in regards to the coherency of the images on the tape..thus my money is on the tape containing a series of incoherent images.
by: Gabe (contact) - 23 Jul '05 - 05:52
Just to cover my ass, so to speak, I'm going to ammend my wager to "a series of incoherent images that if I were forced to venture a guess as to their meaning I would most likely suggest that they constituted some time of gay ####"...
by: Gabe (contact) - 23 Jul '05 - 05:54
Could it be video evidence of some sort of horrific crime, perhaps the too friendly neighbor digging a shallow grave for his X. Or maybe images from a fantasy party where portly girlfriends experiment with the oversized artificial members, naw, ain't that good, if it is, you could sell it and pay for that damb fence!
by: Uncle Jim again! (contact) - 06 Jan '06 - 16:48



 




Meta Information:

Title: Revenge of the (Possibly) Dirty Movie
Date posted: 18 Jul '05 - 12:25
Filed under: General
Word Count: 455 words
Good Karma: 115 (vote)
Bad Karma: 94 (vote)
Next entry:  Rated R, for Redundant
Previous entry:  p0wned

Frontpage