Happy I'm Still Stealing Your Premise Day!
Today you came out of the grocery store to find a shopping list under the windshield of your car.
Closer examination reveals it to be the shopping list of a crazy person, as it is a seemingly random collection of products and brands, with lines and arrows circling in an incestuous web.
You let it go, allowing the wind to snatch it, and the list, which comprises the life work of the ex-Secretary of Health, who had discovered a plot by the nation's richest to slowly poison the rest of the populace lest they become immortal like them.
He was being chased by government agents after he escaped the shuttered CIA house where they had been keeping him so that he might be sacrificed in a grand and ceremonial manner as an enduring example to all. Placing the list of tainted items on your car was his last hope of getting the information out.
You close the car door, and consider whether it's safe to drive while eating Pringles.
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